If we can’t laugh at ourselves, we are holding on way too tight! The irony? We LOVE the humor about the issues others have. Hopefully, I can strike a balance here and get some in that hit close to home personally for me too.
Very few people on earth can say they have had the discipline to shed 100 pounds. But My friend Anna Krueger did it! It can be a tough accomplishment to wrestle with though. Yes, she did it. And being able to lose that much weight is AMAZING. But Anna says it wasn’t really “lost” – she knows where every single ounce went. She described it as “early mornings, hard work, sweat and pain”. There was also lots of encouragement along the way and even some fanfare when the big milestone was reached. It felt great!! But then, the real enemy showed up… Boredom.
It all started when Anna became a sales team coach at work. After a solid track record of success, Anna was taking on a new challenge. She was hired to run a team of Inside Sales professionals and that required training. Part of that training was breaking through limiting beliefs – literally writing them down on a wooden board and then breaking that board with your bare hand. Loaded with anxiety and apprehension, Anna dug deep and did it on the first try! The instructor then challenged everyone to take action within 24 hours on any changes they wanted to make in their lives. That was the turning point.
Gyms can be intimidating on multiple levels. Comparisons are all up in your head. This is especially true if you are carrying a lot of extra weight. The reality is that people rarely look ultrafit the first day they walk in the door of a gym. Sometimes just finding workout clothes can be a major emotional battle. One battle is actually a whole series of connected battles. In Anna’s case, she was energized by the new challenge so there was no stopping her! She had a Facebook friend who was going to a gym that looked like a good fit and called them up.
If you are hesitant though, the best solution is probably to get a referral from someone you know and feel safe with. Having a buddy in the beginning or someone wrestling with the same issue can make all the difference in the world. Seek them out. Otherwise you may not even walk in the door or make that call.
Going on hard journeys is a lot more fun with a buddy. When dealing with dangerous situations and safety issues, people use a concept known as “the buddy system”. Mix in some expertise and coaching and Personal Trainers are kind of a combination of all of this. Anna chose to hire a Personal Trainer and initially wanted to lose 100 pounds in a year. That’s a great goal! However, her trainer started asking about her life. Do you have any events coming up? He was looking for an emotional target. And he got one – about 7 months out. He designed a plan and Anna worked the plan. He said don’t worry about the 100 pounds. Told her to just work the system.
Ok, ok. Some personal trainers are big tough scary looking dudes. Some are super buff intense fiery women. Egos are everywhere and temperaments run the gamut. But, most of them are teddy bears inside – when they are NOT coaching you. Referrals here are the key as well. You need to find someone who can motivate you without turning you off. Someone you believe really cares for your wellbeing. You are going to have to trust them and do what they say. And it is going to be HARD some days.
Simple is also a key. “Just tell me what to do” is a very common sentiment when making life changes. Save me the mental anguish because I will barely have enough strength to do the hard thing. I definitely don’t have the strength to think of creative ways to do the hard thing AND do it! Personal Trainers can craft a workout plan tailored just for you. That will become your system and then you just work the system. Day in and day out.
Seven months later, Anna did what she set out to do. She persevered when she could no longer keep working out with her trainer at the gym due to back pain which flared up from a car accident years ago. The plan had to change. She adapted – she did not quit. Real time, this was a devastating blow and she had a choice to make. She had to mentally “muscle through it”. Anna had to submit to an injury that was threatening her dream. The alternative was riding a bike. She hates riding a bike. She did it anyway. Months later, she has learned to “appreciate” the bike. Anna still does not love bike riding. She also had to master calories and portions in the kitchen! Also not a natural passion. The battle became mental and intake driven when it could no longer be physical. And she won. But she is not done…
Seven months is a pretty long haul. I was so proud of Anna’s progress I wanted to know more.
Most people want to change something in their life that relates to daily choices and personal behavior. Its human nature. The challenge is making that change sustainable. “Most people overestimate what they can do in a day, and underestimate what they can do in a month. We overestimate what we can do in a year, and underestimate what we can accomplish in a decade.” Matthew Kelly from the book The Long View
I think Anna and her Personal Trainer estimated pretty well! A lot of people don’t though…
Many people underestimate just how hard it is to sustain something that is not coming naturally to us. Even the smallest change requires huge effort – in the beginning. But, after time and consistency it does get easier. The entire premise of the best-selling book The ONE Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan has to do with the concept of zeroing in on ONE thing at a time and making sustained life changes with successive 66 day challenges. Their research revealed the ole “21 days to build a habit” concept was actually the minimum time it could take. They found the average point was around 66 days where the effort to sustain the change got as easy as it was ever going to get. Depending on the size of the change, it could take over 200 days. Note, I did not use the word “easy”. The authors refer to the sweetspot as the “this is as easy as it is ever going to get” point. That is a very important distinction because it shapes a very fundamental expectation.
I did a 66 day challenge recently involving hitting the gym everyday at 5:00am and living to tell about it. Literally – just not dying that was the goal: Get dressed, walk in the door, get in some cardio and take it easy so no one has to call 911. My journey was really nothing compared to Anna’s but this was still a BIG step for me. Waking up at 4:45 am was not natural! But the newness of the challenge carried me for a while.
For me though, the excitement wore off after about 18 days. I was tired! My body ached. Thankfully I was using two independent alarms staggered by a few minutes. That backup alarm saved me! It actually saved me at least 8 times during the 66 day period. I did 72 days in a row. When I was out-of-town traveling, I was up walking 3-4 miles at 5:00am. Then, the challenge was over. I gave myself a well-earned break. Uh-oh… Boredom had struck!
Boredom is an interesting phenomenon. If you are working with a great personal trainer, they will vary your routine to fight off boredom for you. They will also push you harder than you would push yourself. But Personal Trainers are expensive. And for most it is not a long-term proposition.
If you are working on a challenge by yourself, boredom is lurking behind every comfortable aspect of familiarity. At first, stress goes down because you finally know what to do. But that does not last long. Once you are really comfortable, boredom strikes. The key is to turn the tables. Go do something new at a really basic level. Try a new machine on Level One. THAT is when harnessing boredom can actually pull you forward. In the beginning keep the goals super simple. In my case, I committed to an easy routine in a hard time slot. All I had to do to win was show up. It was not complicated. Then, as boredom set in, I began seeking workout activities that were more challenging and more complicated. Because I “wanted to”. All I had to do was show up! Time would do the work.
When your “want to” is driving the process, there is no stopping you! That is what drives everything else you love to do anyway. So here’s to making some super simple small change in your life. My prediction is that you will get bored quickly and raise the bar. If you are consistent, you’ll look back a year from now in amazement!
Lastly, I believe that who we hang out with matters more that we can ever imagine. The “backsliding” happens after major life changes because of emotional gravity stemming from the people we are around. Sadly, personal life changes often also require new members on our personal “Emotional Board of Directors”. Some people may need to get fired and replaced. Don’t get me wrong, I am not being mean. These people may love you and want the best for you. You just make bad decisions when you are around them. The hardest change to make may be choosing to pull back from relationships that do not “pull” you towards the “you” you want to be. Gravity can work for you and against you. And, in this one respect – you can create your own emotional and choice gravity. Choose your friends – and choose them wisely. Your life is on the line.
Lingo can be found in all close knit groups. Families can have a kind of “code talk” they use. Whether it is pet names, nick names, private jokes, slang, movie references or word “misuses” – we ALL use lingo. Human beings just naturally develop short cuts in communication as relationships evolve. Some of the short cuts take the form of acronyms. Text messages are full of those. Lingo is a double-edged sword though… While comforting to those on the “inside”, it can be highly irritating and unwelcoming to those on the “outside”.
Abundant: Free flowing; More than enough; What I want and then some; Plenty; Excess; My life is going well
Bless your heart: You poor thing; I am so sorry; Your life sucks right now; That’s too bad; I am glad I am not you. Hope its not contagious. Gotta go!
Blessed: Some use this as statement of gratitude: “I know how good I have it and I can see that God is taking care of me.” Some use it as an observation: “Your life is going really well.” It could also be a bumper sticker or T-shirt: “Too Blessed to be Stressed”
Blessing: Things worked out the way you wanted them to OR Things did not work out the way you wanted them to and through some hindsight you are really happy they didn’t! Something you say BEFORE you eat because if you don’t… something really bad will happen.
Fellowship: Could refer to a group of people like a church; Most times it refers to the activity of meeting with other people with the same worldview and hanging out together for mutual encouragement.
Victory in this area: A temporary, or perhaps even long term, improvement with part of your behavior that you wanted to change. A weakness you do not currently struggle with. Something someone else needs…
On fire for the Lord: Deeply convinced that Jesus is who he says he is in the Bible. And, not worried about what anyone else thinks about how you act or how you talk about it. Genuine Christian joy and transparency; Passionate about what Jesus did.
Special Word from the Lord: “I’ve got a special word from The Lord for you” which is usually followed up with some kind of manipulation.
Walking through this Season: Living out your life in the midst of some struggle which you hope is short term and not permanent. This comment can be fragile though. Struggles are real and painful. They can be charged with emotion! “Life sucks right now but I am hoping some good can come out of it.” “I am grinding it out right now. What choice do I have?”
Recently, I had a guy tell me that ‘God had revealed to him’ that he was in a ‘new season’ fulfilling his ‘destiny’. Do what? God has showed me? New season? Destiny? Who uses that kind of jargon? Oh… you are speaking Christianese. Christianese is a language that is accepted by some believers who speak in non defined terms that cause you to appear to have a spirituality that others can’t attain or understand.
When I asked how God had revealed this, he said: it was in the supernatural. Do what? What do you mean by that? When I asked what he meant by a new season, I was confused with his answer because he was confused with his answer. He talked in circles that caused more confusion than clarity. I then asked what he meant by fulfilling his destiny? He explained that he was walking in the path of his anointing.
Pause: I need 4 Advil. Can you say Headache? Where do we find all this jargon in the Bible?
The power of his manifested giftedness was so overwhelming that I felt an overflow deep within the core of my being that made it clear that I was standing in the presence of an enlightened servant of the most high. My soul was overwhelmed. I suddenly saw the deepest inner truths rising up from the wealth of knowledge that he possessed. I found myself standing on the brink of a new season, basking in the light of my destiny. Wow! You’ve got to stop the madness!
“I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your thoughts and mind will be led astray from a simple, sincere and pure devotion to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 11:3 – Simple. Sincere. Pure. Devotion to Christ. Not Complicated. Confusing. Chaotic. Vague. Keep it simple. Keep your communication relevant.
Please use words that help the listeners understand. Realize that using spiritual jargon makes you look weird NOT deep. Jesus shared many parables that were earthly stories with heavenly meanings. Earthly stories. NOT stories that sound like they are from Mars. ~ Tim Cash
Here’s a recent post on my Facebook feed. If we have to Google words and phrases to be able to understand what someone is saying, it just might be filled with Lingo.
“We’re not wanting to be insensitive to what so many of you are feeling, but we are very much wanting you to put this death thing in the proper perspective: You are all going to die! Except there is no death. You’re all going to make your transition into Non-Physical. It is time to stop making your transition into Non-Physical sound like a subject that is uncomfortable and begin acknowledging that it is something that happens to everyone. This death thing is so misunderstood that you use it to torture yourself never-endingly and just absolutely unnecessarily. There are those who feel such fulfillment of life and such Connection to Source Energy, who understand that there is no separation between what is physical and Non-Physical; who understand that there is not even a lapse in consciousness, that “death” is a matter of closing one’s eyes in this dimension and literally opening one’s eyes in the other dimension. And that, truly, is how all death is, no matter how it looks, up to that point.. The re-emergence into Source Energy is always a delightful thing.”
The photo above was an Instagram post from one of my friends and it stopped me in my tracks. When I saw it, I was very intrigued. It was the polar opposite of “should”!! It like being invited into someone’s journal as they did daily life. So I went out his Instagram photos and there were several of these photos.
It would be easy to think of the Bible as a Book of Rules. I actually started to lead this section with “If you are not a Christian, it would be easy…” But, my suspicion is that many Christians feel this way too. People have a weird love/hate relationship with rules. On one hand, they are comforting. Do not drink and drive. Murder is illegal. 25 MPH in a school zone. Some are easy like Don’t put diesel fuel in a vehicle that runs on gas. It is unlikely anyone would argue with that because the consequences are immediate and personal. But most of life is not that cut and dried. Many times its gets slippery. “No Running” signs at the pool come to mind. “But, I can handle it.” you say.
There is no doubt the Bible contains rules. The 10 Commandments are probably the most obvious example. The deeper question is why though. Why are there rules? Why should I not covet my neighbor’s stuff? My suspicion is that God inspired the Bible writers to record principles for living that would keep us out of danger. In that respect, the Bible is sort of like an Owner’ Manual for human beings. Change your oil. Use the right fuel. Wash yourself occasionally. Make sure there is tread on your tires in rainy weather. You get the point.
“A Bible that’s falling apart usually belongs to someone who isn’t.” ― Charles Haddon Spurgeon
That quote is another one that can stop you in your tracks. Take any book and look at the spine. If it is broken and frazzled, the book has been read a LOT. It has not been revered like a relic and set aside for safe keeping. It has been devoured like a wonderful meal. Over, and over, and over again. Very few books look like this. Why? Because once you read a regular book – even a great one – you get the concepts after once or twice. The Bible though is different.
Manuals, on the other hand, get used over and over again. They are full of systems and procedures. Ways things work best. Created by the creator of whatever it is. “Did you look in the manual?” is a very natural question when someone is having car trouble. Manuals may even be spiral bound or in a binder because they are supposed to be used. If you owned any type of franchised business, you would be expected to master the information in the manual and use it explicitly.
Notes in the margins! In PEN!!!! Oh – my – word.
Maybe its just me but I was afraid to mark in my Bible for the longest time. Then, once I felt the freedom to write in my Bible, I was still afraid that it would be messy. Today, I realize that margin notes and messy pages are signs of real living and wrestling with real life. When there are actual dates, it brings back memories of a past struggle where many times I have been able to see God’s fingerprints all over my life. Sometimes the struggle continues. Prayers that I thought were unanswered – got answered in a different way. I was able to see that there was a way and a better way.
Proverbs 14:12 English Standard Version (ESV) – “There is a way that seems right to a man,
but its end is the way to death.”
The words Religion and Religious bring up all kinds of connotations. Most of the time they make people think of behavior and performance standards, having to go to church, etc. This is why the photo at the top of this post is so so meaningful to me. It, along with all of the others like it that my friend posted, capture the gritty intimacy that is a daily relationship with God through Jesus Christ. And, I need to see that. I need to hang around people who live like that. That is how I want to live!
If you want to check out the rest of the photos, here is the link to my friend’s Instagram account.
Master – We believe you can help.
11 While He was on the way to Jerusalem, He was passing between Samaria and Galilee. 12 As He entered a village, ten leprous men who stood at a distance met Him; 13 and they raised their voices, saying, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!” 14 When He saw them, He said to them, “Go and show yourselves to the priests.” And as they were going, they were cleansed. 15 Now one of them, when he saw that he had been healed, turned back, glorifying God with a loud voice, 16 and he fell on his face at His feet, giving thanks to Him. And he was a Samaritan. 17 Then Jesus answered and said, “Were there not ten cleansed? But the nine—where are they? 18 Was no one found who returned to give glory to God, except this foreigner?” 19 And He said to him, “Stand up and go; your faith has made you well.” Luke 17:11-19 NASB translation
We are miserable – help us out! Do some of that miracle stuff in our direction.
Equally available to all 10 men; no matter what they believed. They all left immediately. But they were not all headed in the same direction…
One man out of the ten was overwhelmed with gratitude and turned around to thank Jesus. In a loud voice. He wanted to give glory before he received the full benefit. He knew he was being healed real-time but in that day it took a clean bill of health from the Priest for others to accept it. Yet, the one who turned around was a Samaritan.
Glory: The sum of God’s magnificent attributes.
Jesus uses the hated Samaritan to show both compassion and gratitude as he explains the nature of God and how Heaven works.
Don’t just say them silently in your mind – write them down. There is a huge difference once you write something down so you can see it. Transformation occurs when we work through the truth of how God is blessing us because the bad stuff is so easy to see.
Oct 13, 2016
People can spend an entire lifetime running from who they are. Why? Because deep down they do not trust God. They refuse to accept the fact that they are an “original” – created in the image of God – uniquely suited to impact a corner of the world that only they can reach – for His glory. The problem lies in that last part… It’s really a silent fight over glory.
It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.
This isn’t the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God’s kingdom.
But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.
Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good—crucified.
Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.”
Excerpted from a letter Paul sent to the church in Galatia. Galatians 5:19-26 The Message
What I found exciting in Dave Ramsey’s book, The Legacy Journey, was a provocative financial vision beyond the now. It all starts with the foundational framework Dave lays out in Financial Peace University. But that is the “ab crunch” part of this (definitely not my favorite). I needed something big to pull me through the foundation building. The “pull” for me was the hope I got through the vision exercise for the time after all of the Baby Steps have been taken!
(from Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University)
I don’t like being called a baby! And yet, I look at the Baby Steps above and think… this is going to take me a lifetime. I hate budgeting. Its hard and I don’t want to do it. This is going to take FOR-EVER. My income is up and down and unpredictable. I am never going to get to the fun part!!! But here is the core problem: Everything starts with the small stuff. “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much.” Luke 16:10 NIV
I believe this subtile shift will unlock part of the hope for me. For some reason, I can get more engaged by doing this for God and managing God’s money than I can for building wealth for myself. I know that logically I cannot manage my money so well that it will guarantee me security or happiness. So, my tendency is to give up and just survive.
I do want to get the pressure off and get out of debt though. The irony is that the disciplines that will allow someone to climb out of debt are the same disciplines that will allow someone to manage wealth and be able to give generously. You don’t graduate to some place of freedom from Biblical principles. God’s ways are best – and they are necessary. As Dave Ramsey says “You never outgrow the need to do a monthly budget”. If your job was Money Manager, you would make decisions based on a budget and your performance would be evaluated on how close to stuck to the budget. Well, we are managing someone else’s money!
Dave Ramsey’s statement in the book really hits home: “We all have equal value before the Lord and are equal as humans, but we do not all bring the same level of economic service to the marketplace.” Everyone has the same opportunity to manage their money by Biblical principals. We just don’t all do it. And, there really is no good excuse for it. Ugh!
Jesus taught on this in Luke 16 and also in Luke 19:11-27. Here is a great commentary on Luke 16.
“Content people don’t always have the best of everything, but they always make the best of everything.” Like happiness, contentment is an attitude rather than a accomplishment. One of the keys to generating contentment early is to be on a path that can last. People can be content if they believe in the plan or the path. Taking out debt is a path to freedom because Debt can unravel dreams faster than anything. Debt numbers, though, are specific dollar amounts. Once, you escape the debt numbers, you start working with excesses and growing with those takes ratios. Ratios keep you in balance. Dave Ramsey calls these excess amounts “Overflow”. The other thing that comes into play for Christians is Tithing.
Here are some ratios for consideration that split up the Overflow Total:
One planning suggestion we are taught as team builders at Keller Williams Realty is to take a fixed salary as the Lead Agent of $100,000/year. Once that is fixed, the Lead Agent’s lifestyle should be based on that. The rest? Should be managed by business principles and ratios. In this example, lets assume that the team generated excess income to the lead agent (as the team owner) of $100,000. Just add 3 zero’s to the percentages above to divide up the overflow. The problem most real estate agents have is when they see an excess $1, they see $1 and they spend it all. Using ratios will help agents like me make a much needed mental conversion when it comes to any excess income. Overflow dollars can have rules thanks to these ratios. Those rules help things from getting out of balance. Emergency Reserves get built. Taxes get paid. Investments get saved for. Giving increases. There are some lifestyle bonuses along the way. THAT sounds like the legacy I want to leave!
