Very few people on earth can say they have had the discipline to shed 100 pounds. But My friend Anna Krueger did it! It can be a tough accomplishment to wrestle with though. Yes, she did it. And being able to lose that much weight is AMAZING. But Anna says it wasn’t really “lost” – she knows where every single ounce went. She described it as “early mornings, hard work, sweat and pain”. There was also lots of encouragement along the way and even some fanfare when the big milestone was reached. It felt great!! But then, the real enemy showed up… Boredom.
It all Started
It all started when Anna became a sales team coach at work. After a solid track record of success, Anna was taking on a new challenge. She was hired to run a team of Inside Sales professionals and that required training. Part of that training was breaking through limiting beliefs – literally writing them down on a wooden board and then breaking that board with your bare hand. Loaded with anxiety and apprehension, Anna dug deep and did it on the first try! The instructor then challenged everyone to take action within 24 hours on any changes they wanted to make in their lives. That was the turning point.
Finding a Gym
Gyms can be intimidating on multiple levels. Comparisons are all up in your head. This is especially true if you are carrying a lot of extra weight. The reality is that people rarely look ultrafit the first day they walk in the door of a gym. Sometimes just finding workout clothes can be a major emotional battle. One battle is actually a whole series of connected battles. In Anna’s case, she was energized by the new challenge so there was no stopping her! She had a Facebook friend who was going to a gym that looked like a good fit and called them up.
If you are hesitant though, the best solution is probably to get a referral from someone you know and feel safe with. Having a buddy in the beginning or someone wrestling with the same issue can make all the difference in the world. Seek them out. Otherwise you may not even walk in the door or make that call.
Personal Trainer
Going on hard journeys is a lot more fun with a buddy. When dealing with dangerous situations and safety issues, people use a concept known as “the buddy system”. Mix in some expertise and coaching and Personal Trainers are kind of a combination of all of this. Anna chose to hire a Personal Trainer and initially wanted to lose 100 pounds in a year. That’s a great goal! However, her trainer started asking about her life. Do you have any events coming up? He was looking for an emotional target. And he got one – about 7 months out. He designed a plan and Anna worked the plan. He said don’t worry about the 100 pounds. Told her to just work the system.
Ok, ok. Some personal trainers are big tough scary looking dudes. Some are super buff intense fiery women. Egos are everywhere and temperaments run the gamut. But, most of them are teddy bears inside – when they are NOT coaching you. Referrals here are the key as well. You need to find someone who can motivate you without turning you off. Someone you believe really cares for your wellbeing. You are going to have to trust them and do what they say. And it is going to be HARD some days.
Simple is also a key. “Just tell me what to do” is a very common sentiment when making life changes. Save me the mental anguish because I will barely have enough strength to do the hard thing. I definitely don’t have the strength to think of creative ways to do the hard thing AND do it! Personal Trainers can craft a workout plan tailored just for you. That will become your system and then you just work the system. Day in and day out.
Seven months later, Anna did what she set out to do. She persevered when she could no longer keep working out with her trainer at the gym due to back pain which flared up from a car accident years ago. The plan had to change. She adapted – she did not quit. Real time, this was a devastating blow and she had a choice to make. She had to mentally “muscle through it”. Anna had to submit to an injury that was threatening her dream. The alternative was riding a bike. She hates riding a bike. She did it anyway. Months later, she has learned to “appreciate” the bike. Anna still does not love bike riding. She also had to master calories and portions in the kitchen! Also not a natural passion. The battle became mental and intake driven when it could no longer be physical. And she won. But she is not done…
The Long Haul
Seven months is a pretty long haul. I was so proud of Anna’s progress I wanted to know more.
Most people want to change something in their life that relates to daily choices and personal behavior. Its human nature. The challenge is making that change sustainable. “Most people overestimate what they can do in a day, and underestimate what they can do in a month. We overestimate what we can do in a year, and underestimate what we can accomplish in a decade.” Matthew Kelly from the book The Long View
I think Anna and her Personal Trainer estimated pretty well! A lot of people don’t though…
Many people underestimate just how hard it is to sustain something that is not coming naturally to us. Even the smallest change requires huge effort – in the beginning. But, after time and consistency it does get easier. The entire premise of the best-selling book The ONE Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan has to do with the concept of zeroing in on ONE thing at a time and making sustained life changes with successive 66 day challenges. Their research revealed the ole “21 days to build a habit” concept was actually the minimum time it could take. They found the average point was around 66 days where the effort to sustain the change got as easy as it was ever going to get. Depending on the size of the change, it could take over 200 days. Note, I did not use the word “easy”. The authors refer to the sweetspot as the “this is as easy as it is ever going to get” point. That is a very important distinction because it shapes a very fundamental expectation.
When the Newness Wears Off
I did a 66 day challenge recently involving hitting the gym everyday at 5:00am and living to tell about it. Literally – just not dying that was the goal: Get dressed, walk in the door, get in some cardio and take it easy so no one has to call 911. My journey was really nothing compared to Anna’s but this was still a BIG step for me. Waking up at 4:45 am was not natural! But the newness of the challenge carried me for a while.
For me though, the excitement wore off after about 18 days. I was tired! My body ached. Thankfully I was using two independent alarms staggered by a few minutes. That backup alarm saved me! It actually saved me at least 8 times during the 66 day period. I did 72 days in a row. When I was out-of-town traveling, I was up walking 3-4 miles at 5:00am. Then, the challenge was over. I gave myself a well-earned break. Uh-oh… Boredom had struck!
Harnessing Boredom
Boredom is an interesting phenomenon. If you are working with a great personal trainer, they will vary your routine to fight off boredom for you. They will also push you harder than you would push yourself. But Personal Trainers are expensive. And for most it is not a long-term proposition.
If you are working on a challenge by yourself, boredom is lurking behind every comfortable aspect of familiarity. At first, stress goes down because you finally know what to do. But that does not last long. Once you are really comfortable, boredom strikes. The key is to turn the tables. Go do something new at a really basic level. Try a new machine on Level One. THAT is when harnessing boredom can actually pull you forward. In the beginning keep the goals super simple. In my case, I committed to an easy routine in a hard time slot. All I had to do to win was show up. It was not complicated. Then, as boredom set in, I began seeking workout activities that were more challenging and more complicated. Because I “wanted to”. All I had to do was show up! Time would do the work.
When your “want to” is driving the process, there is no stopping you! That is what drives everything else you love to do anyway. So here’s to making some super simple small change in your life. My prediction is that you will get bored quickly and raise the bar. If you are consistent, you’ll look back a year from now in amazement!
Who You Hang Out With Matters!
Lastly, I believe that who we hang out with matters more that we can ever imagine. The “backsliding” happens after major life changes because of emotional gravity stemming from the people we are around. Sadly, personal life changes often also require new members on our personal “Emotional Board of Directors”. Some people may need to get fired and replaced. Don’t get me wrong, I am not being mean. These people may love you and want the best for you. You just make bad decisions when you are around them. The hardest change to make may be choosing to pull back from relationships that do not “pull” you towards the “you” you want to be. Gravity can work for you and against you. And, in this one respect – you can create your own emotional and choice gravity. Choose your friends – and choose them wisely. Your life is on the line.
