I woke up this morning contemplating and celebrating 54 years on this planet. Wow. December 11, 1962. I am 54. So I’m thinking… What will my Legacy be? What will I do in this next year to grow personally and to help make others better? How will I be intentional? I know Living a Legacy is possible. In fact, Leaving a Legacy is guaranteed.

We All Have an Expiration Date

One day we will all breathe our last breath. One day our heart will beat its final time. One day this physical body will be nothing more than an empty shell. It is deteriorating and will eventually die. That’s a promise.

It is appointed to man to die once, then stand before our maker. What type of Legacy will you leave behind? What will others remember about you?

Growing Up

I’ve often pondered the influence that my parents had in my life, the man and woman that raised me in those formidable years. Yeah. They stayed together through all the peaks and valleys. They stayed together when life was tough. They weathered the storms and recently celebrated 55 years of marriage. Good job momma and daddy.

They taught me, Kristi and Adam many life lessons. They were also some things that they didn’t teach us. They didn’t teach us how: To lie. To steal. To cheat. To violate others. To show favoritism. To be a racist. They taught us to be: Responsible. Honest. Trustworthy. Dependable. They taught us to be on time. To tell the truth. To honor your word. To treat all people equal. They taught us that to love unconditionally can be a reality. They taught us that we were valued and special. They taught us that talent and giftedness had an expiration date BUT living a life of integrity would last.

I learned that money didn’t define you. I learned that your your level of education did not have to determine your destination in life. I learned that working hard to provide for your family was honorable. I learned that a stay at home mom that showered affection and on her family was not inferior because she had no income. I came to realize that these values prepared my heart to understand God’s love in a tangible way. Mom and Dad were living a Legacy and will leave a powerful Legacy for future generations.

Dad’s health has been brutal for the last five years. He has had open heart surgery, back surgery, battled infections, fought diabetes, just to mention a few.

My Sister Had This to Say

Our Daddy has such a love for us. We have done things he doesn’t approve of but he doesn’t stop loving us. Our Heavenly Father is the same. But I know my Daddy has provided for us to his best ability. He has this crippling back pain today because of how hard he worked to provide for us. Daddy has always been an awesome provider. We are very fortunate. What a Legacy.

Ponder This

A Godly legacy begins when we are intentional parents who create a home that honors God. Here are a few keys:

• Provide a safe environment in which deep emotional roots can grow.
• Foster confidence through having a stable home.
• Communicate a voice of trusting support.
• Nurture a strong sense of healthy identity.
• Create a “resting place” for the soul.
• Demonstrate unconditional love.

One of My Favorite Examples

Dennis Rainey shared these thoughts years ago that are worth pondering. Have you ever heard of Jonathan and Sarah Edwards?
Jonathan felt God’s call to minister. He and his young bride began a pastorate in a small congregation. During the years that followed, he was influential in beginning the Great Awakening. They produced eleven children who grew into adulthood.
Sarah was a partner in her husband’s ministry, and he sought her advice regarding sermons and church matters. They spent time talking about these things together, and, when their children were old enough, the parents included the children in the discussions.
The impact of the Edwards’s lives have been far-reaching, but the most measurable results of their faithfulness to God’s call is found through their descendants. Here is a brief look at the Edwards Legacy:

• 100 lawyers and a dean of a law school
• 80 holders of public office
• 66 physicians and a dean of a medical school
• 65 professors of colleges and universities
• 30 judges
• 13 college presidents
• 3 mayors of large cities
• 3 governors of states
• 3 United States senators
• 1 controller of the United States Treasury
• 1 Vice President of the United States

Leaving a Legacy is Guaranteed. What will Yours look like?

If I am honest, I can be a little too comfortable and smug in my faith. I can readily quote scripture and am technically sound in my counsel to others. I have put in the time to know my theology. It’s the truth. But, I don’t want to be seen as the “know it all”. I want to be seen as an everyday, relatable guy on the street.

But the Gospel of Jesus Christ is amazing though. And I could easily think that I had something to do with my salvation. That I was somehow smart enough to accept Jesus as opposed to just being ignorant and desperate. That I can take some of the credit.

As it turns out, tragedy was to be a part of my journey so that I would never lose sight of my dependence on God. God knew that those wounded by tragedy needed hope. Who better to reach out than someone with first hand knowledge. Satan administered the tragedy but God allowed it. Satan meant it to crush me and cause me to turn from God. The Holy Spirit is using it to remind me of God’s love and how much he values me that he would chose me for such an important mission. I would have never chosen this mission on my own. It hurts – a LOT!

I prayed why? Why? Why? But there are countless people wounded by this same suffering that have no hope of it ever making sense. At least I know the suffering can be redeemed. The lost need hope too – how will they ever cope without it? Leaving them in lost AND desperate is unacceptable. So, I lean in to my pain.

Having this forced clarity really is sort of a gift. It doesn’t mean I don’t walk with a limp now though.

My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

I am seeking to embrace that daily. I am working to focus less on the tragedy and more on the opportunity to minister to others with unique credibility. I have lived it. As Christ allows me to believe in his redemptive powers through helping others, my humility and unwavering devotion to Christ become a beacon of hope to a lost and hurting world. Suffering allows deep connections that success never can.

As I refuse to run and hide,

Christ’s impact in my life shines through all the more.

This is not my story

I have a couple of friends who have endured tragedy gracefully. When I talk about them I usually use the word Heroic. The words above are mine though as I wrestle with their situations in light of the words Paul penned in his second letter to the Corinthians. Here is a link to the real version in 2 Corinthians 12:6-10

Very few people on earth can say they have had the discipline to shed 100 pounds. But My friend Anna Krueger did it! It can be a tough accomplishment to wrestle with though. Yes, she did it. And being able to lose that much weight is AMAZING. But Anna says it wasn’t really “lost” – she knows where every single ounce went. She described it as “early mornings, hard work, sweat and pain”. There was also lots of encouragement along the way and even some fanfare when the big milestone was reached. It felt great!! But then, the real enemy showed up… Boredom.

It all Started

It all started when Anna became a sales team coach at work. After a solid track record of success, Anna was taking on a new challenge. She was hired to run a team of Inside Sales professionals and that required training. Part of that training was breaking through limiting beliefs – literally writing them down on a wooden board and then breaking that board with your bare hand. Loaded with anxiety and apprehension, Anna dug deep and did it on the first try! The instructor then challenged everyone to take action within 24 hours on any changes they wanted to make in their lives. That was the turning point.

Finding a Gym

Gyms can be intimidating on multiple levels. Comparisons are all up in your head. This is especially true if you are carrying a lot of extra weight. The reality is that people rarely look ultrafit the first day they walk in the door of a gym. Sometimes just finding workout clothes can be a major emotional battle. One battle is actually a whole series of connected battles. In Anna’s case, she was energized by the new challenge so there was no stopping her! She had a Facebook friend who was going to a gym that looked like a good fit and called them up.

If you are hesitant though, the best solution is probably to get a referral from someone you know and feel safe with. Having a buddy in the beginning or someone wrestling with the same issue can make all the difference in the world. Seek them out. Otherwise you may not even walk in the door or make that call.

Personal Trainer

Going on hard journeys is a lot more fun with a buddy. When dealing with dangerous situations and safety issues, people use a concept known as “the buddy system”. Mix in some expertise and coaching and Personal Trainers are kind of a combination of all of this. Anna chose to hire a Personal Trainer and initially wanted to lose 100 pounds in a year. That’s a great goal! However, her trainer started asking about her life. Do you have any events coming up? He was looking for an emotional target. And he got one – about 7 months out. He designed a plan and Anna worked the plan. He said don’t worry about the 100 pounds. Told her to just work the system.

Ok, ok. Some personal trainers are big tough scary looking dudes. Some are super buff intense fiery women. Egos are everywhere and temperaments run the gamut. But, most of them are teddy bears inside – when they are NOT coaching you. Referrals here are the key as well. You need to find someone who can motivate you without turning you off. Someone you believe really cares for your wellbeing. You are going to have to trust them and do what they say. And it is going to be HARD some days.

Simple is also a key. “Just tell me what to do” is a very common sentiment when making life changes. Save me the mental anguish because I will barely have enough strength to do the hard thing. I definitely don’t have the strength to think of creative ways to do the hard thing AND do it! Personal Trainers can craft a workout plan tailored just for you. That will become your system and then you just work the system. Day in and day out.

Seven months later, Anna did what she set out to do. She persevered when she could no longer keep working out with her trainer at the gym due to back pain which flared up from a car accident years ago. The plan had to change. She adapted – she did not quit. Real time, this was a devastating blow and she had a choice to make. She had to mentally “muscle through it”. Anna had to submit to an injury that was threatening her dream. The alternative was riding a bike. She hates riding a bike. She did it anyway. Months later, she has learned to “appreciate” the bike. Anna still does not love bike riding. She also had to master calories and portions in the kitchen! Also not a natural passion. The battle became mental and intake driven when it could no longer be physical.  And she won. But she is not done…

The Long Haul

Seven months is a pretty long haul. I was so proud of Anna’s progress I wanted to know more.

Most people want to change something in their life that relates to daily choices and personal behavior. Its human nature. The challenge is making that change sustainable. “Most people overestimate what they can do in a day, and underestimate what they can do in a month. We overestimate what we can do in a year, and underestimate what we can accomplish in a decade.” Matthew Kelly from the book The Long View

I think Anna and her Personal Trainer estimated pretty well! A lot of people don’t though…

Many people underestimate just how hard it is to sustain something that is not coming naturally to us. Even the smallest change requires huge effort – in the beginning. But, after time and consistency it does get easier. The entire premise of the best-selling book The ONE Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan has to do with the concept of zeroing in on ONE thing at a time and making sustained life changes with successive 66 day challenges. Their research revealed the ole “21 days to build a habit” concept was actually the minimum time it could take. They found the average point was around 66 days where the effort to sustain the change got as easy as it was ever going to get. Depending on the size of the change, it could take over 200 days. Note, I did not use the word “easy”. The authors refer to the sweetspot as the “this is as easy as it is ever going to get” point. That is a very important distinction because it shapes a very fundamental expectation.

When the Newness Wears Off

I did a 66 day challenge recently involving hitting the gym everyday at 5:00am and living to tell about it. Literally – just not dying that was the goal: Get dressed, walk in the door, get in some cardio and take it easy so no one has to call 911. My journey was really nothing compared to Anna’s but this was still a BIG step for me. Waking up at 4:45 am was not natural! But the newness of the challenge carried me for a while.

For me though, the excitement wore off after about 18 days. I was tired! My body ached. Thankfully I was using two independent alarms staggered by a few minutes. That backup alarm saved me! It actually saved me at least 8 times during the 66 day period. I did 72 days in a row.  When I was out-of-town traveling, I was up walking 3-4 miles at 5:00am. Then, the challenge was over. I gave myself a well-earned break. Uh-oh… Boredom had struck!

Harnessing Boredom

Boredom is an interesting phenomenon. If you are working with a great personal trainer, they will vary your routine to fight off boredom for you. They will also push you harder than you would push yourself. But Personal Trainers are expensive. And for most it is not a long-term proposition.

If you are working on a challenge by yourself, boredom is lurking behind every comfortable aspect of familiarity. At first, stress goes down because you finally know what to do. But that does not last long. Once you are really comfortable, boredom strikes. The key is to turn the tables. Go do something new at a really basic level. Try a new machine on Level One. THAT is when harnessing boredom can actually pull you forward.  In the beginning keep the goals super simple. In my case, I committed to an easy routine in a hard time slot. All I had to do to win was show up. It was not complicated. Then, as boredom set in, I began seeking workout activities that were more challenging and more complicated. Because I “wanted to”.  All I had to do was show up! Time would do the work.

When your “want to” is driving the process, there is no stopping you! That is what drives everything else you love to do anyway. So here’s to making some super simple small change in your life. My prediction is that you will get bored quickly and raise the bar. If you are consistent, you’ll look back a year from now in amazement!

Who You Hang Out With Matters!

Lastly, I believe that who we hang out with matters more that we can ever imagine. The “backsliding” happens after major life changes because of emotional gravity stemming from the people we are around. Sadly, personal life changes often also require new members on our personal “Emotional Board of Directors”. Some people may need to get fired and replaced. Don’t get me wrong, I am not being mean. These people may love you and want the best for you. You just make bad decisions when you are around them. The hardest change to make may be choosing to pull back from relationships that do not “pull” you towards the “you” you want to be. Gravity can work for you and against you. And, in this one respect – you can create your own emotional and choice gravity. Choose your friends – and choose them wisely. Your life is on the line.

Luke 17 “Temptations to sin are sure to come, but woe to the one through whom they come! ² It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin.³ Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, ⁴ and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”  (immediate context here is with Jesus’ followers but logic says it has broader implications).

SIN

Sin is always an offense against God. Taking it personally, makes it about you. In the Bible, David understood this clearly when he lamented in Psalm 51 about his sin of adultery being a matter primarily between him and God.

OUR OPPORTUNITY

Our opportunity is to rebuke (lovingly seek to offer perspective) and forgive (not take the offense personally). John wrote in Revelation 3:19  “The people I love, I call to account—prod and correct and guide so that they’ll live at their best. Up on your feet, then! About face! Run after God!” The Message

Wanted to share one of the most touching accounts of a Father’s dedication to prayer from John Piper. 

“John G. Paton was a missionary to the New Hebrides, today called Vanuatu, in the South Seas. He was born in Scotland in 1824. I gave my Pastors’ Conference message about him because of the courage he showed throughout his 82 years of life. When I dug for the reasons he was so courageous, one reason I found was the deep love he had for his father.

The tribute Paton pays to his godly father is, by itself, worth the price of his Autobiography, which is still in print. Maybe it’s because I have four sons (and Talitha), but I wept as I read this section. It filled me with such longing to be a father like this.

There was a “closet” where his father would go for prayer as a rule after each meal. The eleven children knew it and they reverenced the spot and learned something profound about God. The impact on John Paton was immense.Though everything else in religion were by some unthinkable catastrophe to be swept out of memory, were blotted from my understanding, my soul would wander back to those early scenes, and shut itself up once again in that Sanctuary Closet, and, hearing still the echoes of those cries to God, would hurl back all doubt with the victorious appeal, “He walked with God, why may not I?” (Autobiography, p. 8)

How much my father’s prayers at this time impressed me I can never explain, nor could any stranger understand. When, on his knees and all of us kneeling around him in Family Worship, he poured out his whole soul with tears for the conversion of the Heathen world to the service of Jesus, and for every personal and domestic need, we all felt as if in the presence of the living Savior, and learned to know and love him as our Divine friend.” (Autobiography, p. 21)

One scene best captures the depth of love between John and his father, and the power of the impact on John’s life of uncompromising courage and purity. The time came for the young Paton to leave home and go to Glasgow to attend divinity school and become a city missionary in his early twenties.

From his hometown of Torthorwald to the train station at Kilmarnock was a 40-mile walk. Forty years later, Paton wrote, My dear father walked with me the first six miles of the way. His counsels and tears and heavenly conversation on that parting journey are fresh in my heart as if it had been but yesterday; and tears are on my cheeks as freely now as then, whenever memory steals me away to the scene.

For the last half mile or so we walked on together in almost unbroken silence – my father, as was often his custom, carrying hat in hand, while his long flowing yellow hair (then yellow, but in later years white as snow) streamed like a girl’s down his shoulders. His lips kept moving in silent prayers for me; and his tears fell fast when our eyes met each other in looks for which all speech was vain! We halted on reaching the appointed parting place; he grasped my hand firmly for a minute in silence, and then solemnly and affectionately said: “God bless you, my son! Your father’s God prosper you, and keep you from all evil!”Unable to say more, his lips kept moving in silent prayer; in tears we embraced, and parted. I ran off as fast as I could; and, when about to turn a corner in the road where he would lose sight of me, I looked back and saw him still standing with head uncovered where I had left him – gazing after me. Waving my hat in adieu, I rounded the corner and out of sight in instant. But my heart was too full and sore to carry me further, so I darted into the side of the road and wept for time. Then, rising up cautiously, I climbed the dike to see if he yet stood where I had left him; and just at that moment I caught a glimpse of him climbing the dike and looking out for me! He did not see me, and after he gazed eagerly in my direction for a while he got down, set his face toward home, and began to return – his head still uncovered, and his heart, I felt sure, still rising in prayers for me. I watched through blinding tears, till his form faded from my gaze; and then, hastening on my way, vowed deeply and oft, by the help of God, to live and act so as never to grieve or dishonor such a father and mother as he had given me. (pp. 25-26)

The impact of his father’s faith and prayer and love and discipline was immeasurable. O fathers, read and be filled with longing.

With you in the battle,

Pastor John”

John Piper (@JohnPiper) is founder and teacher of desiringGod.org and chancellor of Bethlehem College & Seminary. For 33 years, he served as pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis, Minnesota. He is author of more than 50 books, including A Peculiar Glory.

Source: John G Paton’s Father | Desiring God